PASTOR’S PERSPECTIVE: “HOW TO LOVE HIM”
By: Ron Woodrum
In Gone With The Wind, Scarlett O’Hara tells Rhett Butler, “I’ve felt that I was trying to row a heavily loaded boat in a storm. I have had so much trouble just trying to keep afloat that I couldn’t be bothered about things that didn’t matter, things I could part with easily and not miss, like good manners and well-things like that. I’ve been too afraid my boat would be swamped and so I’ve dumped overboard the things that seemed least important”. She explained this by saying, “In the Deep South, women learn at a very young age that when the world is falling apart around you, it’s time to take down the drapes and make a new dress!” Rhett agreed-to a point. He replied, “You are right Scarlett-pride, honor, virtue, and truth, these things aren’t very important, (it seems), when your boat is sinking”. But he reminded her-“it’s hard to salvage jettisoned cargo. If it is retrieved it is usually irreparably damaged. I fear that when you fish it up-the honor, and virtue, and kindness you’ve thrown overboard-you will find they have suffered a sea-change”. What a lesson to those of us who claim to know and follow our Lord Jesus Christ. When we find ourselves in the stressful days that these last days are, and we have rationalized that since our ship is sinking-it is ok to throw out the Spirit-produced fruits of love, joy, peace, longsuffering, forgiveness, and self-control, and live carnally according the urges of our flesh, not showing love to the world, or even to our fellow Christians, because the times are tough. We had to salvage the boat, even if it means throwing overboard those virtues our Lord commanded us to have. After all, we can recapture them at another time. But like Rhett warned Scarlett-throwing those virtues overboard will not be without cost! Those things are hard to recover-and when attempted we find there is some permanent damage. Being unloving and unforgiving comes with a cost. A high cost.
That is why Jesus spoke about this issue when He was leaving His disciples, and they would be facing the greatest crisis of their lives. He told them that the most important thing for them was to hold on to His love! The Bible says that Jesus “having loved His own, He loved them until the end” (John 13:1). And as the end approached He gave them a new commandment-“that you love (agape) one another as I have loved you-ye are also to love one another. And by this kind of love, (agape), all men, everyone that witnesses this love, will know that you are my disciples-IF you have this kind of love for one another” (John 13:34-35). What kind of love did Jesus have for them? What kind of love did He expect them to manifest to the world and to each other? It is interesting that when the Bible talks about Jesus “loving” his own it uses different words for love. You would think that when it says Jesus “loved” his own, it would use ONLY the word “agape”, which the N.T. uses of a sacrificial, unconditional love, a supernatural, God-like kind of love. But actually if you study all the verses that talk about Jesus loving his own it uses both N.T. words. It uses the word “phileo”-which speaks of a love that is centered in the things one finds attractive and loveable in the object loved. In other words it says, Jesus loved “Mary, Martha, and Lazarus-(phileo) because he saw things in them he loved”! (John 11:5). It says, when disciples reported Lazarus as sick they said, “the one you love, (phileo-are attracted to)-is sick”. (John 11:3). When the crowd saw Jesus crying over the death of Lazarus they were moved, and said “how He loved him”-and the word they used was the word “phileo”-meaning “was so closely attracted to him”. Even when Jesus took Peter aside to interrogate him concerning his love in question, it says “the disciple whom Jesus loved, (phileo), was standing nearby” (John 21:7). The word for loved is the word “phileo” which means “to be attracted to” is used-as it is also used in John 20:2. Was does this mean? It means that the love we are to show the world and to each other is to be a love to finds positive things in each other to commend, and draw us close to each other over. Jesus did this with His own. There were things about each one that He was attracted to, and loved them for. He couldn’t help it. It was this kind of love that C.S. Lewis pointed to in his book Four Loves. “Friendship…is born at the moment when one man says to another ‘what! You too? I thought no one but myself felt this way’ “. This kind of love and friendship (phileo) Lewis says, “is the instrument by which God reveals to each of us the beauties of others!” Jesus knew that kind of love with his disciples. He saw their good qualities that attracted Him, and He knew their potential. He saw these things in Mary, Martha, Lazarus, John, Peter, and Nathanial, and all of his disciples. He loved them because there were very special things about them that were loveable. So must we. But His love went beyond loving the loveable. He said, in Luke 6 32, “If you love those that love you only, what thanks do you deserve? Even sinners love those who they find attractive and find them attractive”. Jesus said, “love your enemies, and love those who show no love toward you!” He said, “Love and be kind to your enemies” (Luke 6:35. The word “be kind” sums up agape love. It is the Greek word “Chrestos”. It means “show undeserved and unreturned goodness”. That kind of love is a divine love. It is a God-like love. It is a supernatural love. It is natural to love those to whom we are attracted. It is reciprocal to love those who love us too. But to love the unlovable; to love those who definitely don’t deserve it is the kind of love Jesus demonstrated Himself, and expects of us. We are never, for any reason, and at anytime “throw that kind of love overboard” and feel we can justify ourselves! Tertullian, one of the early Church fathers, said it was this kind of love that caught the attention to the lost world of his day. It was the magnet that drew pagans to Christ, and brought great numbers of converts into the Church. He wrote, “Our care for people who cannot help themselves, our works of love, have become a distinguishing mark by which our enemies recognize us: ‘see how these Christians love one another’, they say, (for they themselves hate one another), ‘and how they are willing to die for one another’ ” As Jesus said, “By this kind of love men will know that you are my disciples” (John 13:35). That is the only verifying mark of a true disciple. Agape love-“loving the unlovable”-both in the world and in the Church.
Back in the seventies our Culture was confronted with Jesus through the Rock Musical Jesus Christ Superstar. Most of what was presented there was a false presentation of who Jesus really is. But it gave Christians of that day the opportunity to at least present the “real Jesus”. Many came to know the real one from first being exposed to the musical. One of the songs, by Yvonne Elliman, in the Opera asks a very important question. She admits, in the perspective of Mary Magdalene, “I don’t know how to love Him”. Her dilemma is after receiving Jesus’ love, and being changed by Him, how do I return His love? That is a question we all must ask and answer. Jesus told us how-exactly! We can show Him love by loving a lost and dying world, even though they don’t deserve it. We can show Him our love by loving each other, even when we don’t deserve it! THAT IS HOW WE LOVE HIM-BY LOVING THEM! AND EACH OTHER!
One of the greatest missionaries to Africa was Donald Frasier. After 25 years of sacrificial service to Africa he returned home to Scotland. The natives sent him a note of thanks. In it they said, he had found them as savages, and left them immeasurably enriched, he had lifted them far above where they were when he had came, centuries above! He had given them schools, and churches, and had led them into a loving fellowship with Christ, and each other. They closed the account with a sentence that deserves to live among all who would name the name of Christ. They said, “We are ashamed we have not caught the infection of a like heart!” We need to catch the infectious loving heart of our loving Savior. That will be the magnet that will draw a lost world to Tri Valley Baptist Church-AND NOTHING ELSE WILL WORK! NOTHING ELSE. This community does not care how much we know-UNTIL THEY KNOW HOW MUCH WE CARE! Partial love-half-way love. None of it will work.
A.A. Milne wrote some great nursery verses. One of them is called “Halfway Down”.
“Halfway down the stairs is a stair where I sit; there isn’t any stair quite like it; I’m not at the bottom, i’m not at the top-this is the stair where I always stop; Halfway up the stair isn’t up-halfway down the stair isn’t down. It isn’t in the nursery-it isn’t in the town. And all sorts of funny thoughts run round my head. It isn’t really anywhere! It’s somewhere else instead!” It is easy to be half-way up or half-way down in our love for the lost and for each other. Halfway is no way! Conditional natural love attracts no one! True followers of Jesus follow close enough to see how He loved. That kind of love is the supernatural love He produces in us by the power and presence of the Holy Spirit. That kind of love is the magnet that will draw others to Him as it did in the days of His flesh. The publicans, tax collectors, harlots, and sinners were attracted to Him by His love. They still are. The only heart that He has to express it through is ours. Half-a loving heart will not do. Today’s message tells us how to be a Marked Disciple that will impact the world and the Church with His love.
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